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If You've Been Told to "Suck It Up", This is for YOU

Can you relate to being brought up to ignore your feelings?

Most of us were taught:

-stop crying

-don’t laugh

-tough it out

-suck it up

-you’re ok

-you’ll be fine

-pick yourself up/dust yourself off

Science tells us that there are more than 85 emotions, yet most high functioning adults identify just three:

That is fascinating, isn't it? The problem is, when you avoid feeling and processing emotions, you can wind up stuck. FEELING emotions feels scary, doesn’t it? The truth is everyone avoids the icky feelings, even a highly functioning individual like yourself.

Research shows that those who identify and address their emotions are better able to enjoy life with:

  • less stress and anxiety

  • greater capacity to handle what life throws at you (hard things)

  • deeper connections at home and work

As a leader, you may be helping others with this concept.

When I’m working with a client who is just beginning with facing feelings, here are a few easy ones to start with:

  • Accepted

  • Confused

  • Disappointed

I often use this helpful tool in my own practice:



This wheel of emotions was created by Geoffrey Robert who says: Being able to clearly identify how we are feeling has been shown to reduce this intensity of experience because it re-engages our rational mind.Bookmark this page, or download the image to refer to when you are feeling stuck or at a loss for words to describe how you are feeling.



For a deeper dive into expressing your emotions, I also recommend Brené Brown’s newest book, Atlas of the Heart.

Getting good at naming your feelings and expressing them gives you space to move past them. This is a huge leadership milestone, .

If you want to talk more about this or schedule a workshop on facing conflict and having hard, necessary conversations, let me know.

Here is a little takeaway for you to hang at home or in your office:


Planning a conference for your company or organization?

I'm now scheduling Dare to Lead ™️ trainings and coaching programs for corporations, organizations and individuals. The curriculum is based on the research of Dr. Brenè Brown. I've been a certified facilitator since 2017. I've noticed a significant increase in demand in the past two years and have realized that excellent leaders are embracing these important principles now more than ever. If you're interested in a custom training program or individual coaching, get all the details HERE.



Executive Coach Kristi Mallory works with leaders who want to lead and succeed with empathy, competence, and resiliency. As the former vice president of her family’s multi-generational grease and industrial lubricant manufacturing business, Kristi understands group dynamics and the importance of having well-oiled systems in place.


Her passion of more than 20 years for personal and organizational growth eventually led to coaching as a new career. In 2019, she became a Brené Brown Certified Dare to Lead™ facilitator and in 2021 Kristi launched the first-ever Momentum for Women Program. Kristi’s clients say her leadership coaching is practical, engaging, and transformational. Invite Kristi to visit your company or organization with a Dare to Lead workshop by filling out the information form on this webpage..

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