This is a favorite quote of mine, and it’s an empowering truth:
Lately, I’ve been hearing from many people who are feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. They’re exhausted by the demands of being available for 10+ hours a day, attending work events, and constantly responding to calls, texts, and emails. It’s not just women who are frustrated by long workdays, short evenings at home, and a lack of quality time with loved ones. Men are also beginning to voice their concerns, expressing a desire to attend their kids' sports games and music recitals, and see family members more often.
We can all agree that everyone needs more time for rest and enjoyment. It's time to prioritize and make space for what truly matters in our lives. I’m not talking about a massage, vacation, or bubble bath here, and please don’t mention the term work-life balance!
Whether it's due to guilt, obligation, or duty, the life you’re living is a choice. And you can change your mind at any time.
As Brené Brown wisely said, "Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do." If you are also feeling frustrated and over-obligated, here are five tips to rewrite the narrative:
1. Turn Balance Into Boundaries
Balance isn't about equal parts of everything, every day. It's about setting boundaries that create space for what matters most. In my personal life, I have learned to embrace an integrated life. This means blending work and personal responsibilities in a way that feels harmonious rather than compartmentalized. It might mean saying "no" more often, delegating tasks at work, or batching errands to free up your evenings. By redefining what truly matters and holding boundaries around that, you acknowledge that future obligations will prioritize health and family, without feeling guilty.
2. Advocate For Yourself and Others
Don't be afraid to communicate your needs—but also communicate your value. Before having a meeting with your manager, brainstorm ways that you can improve performance and get better results if you don’t have to commute three days a week, or if you aren’t constantly interrupted, going to meetings or fixing the mistakes of others. Then, make a proposal for flexible hours or attending family events on a trial basis. Things may not work out perfectly at first, but don’t give up. Keep trying and remember that open communication is key to building a supportive environment. When you advocate for yourself, you not only set a precedent for how you wish to be treated but also encourage others to do the same.
3. Prioritize What’s Most Important Right Now
The situations in our lives that demand our attention are constantly changing. You may have had times in your life when the priority was work, school, sleep, health, children, parents, night school, or an important project. These things change throughout life. Give yourself an honest audit of your life choices and notice what needs to shift. Keeping priorities in order is a choice that leads to fulfillment.
4. Have Clear, Intrinsic Goals
Clarity in your goals can provide direction and motivation. Set both short-term and long-term goals that align with your values and passions. These intrinsic goals are more fulfilling because they resonate deeply with who you are. Break them down into manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way. Sharing these goals with your family can create a supportive environment, helping everyone understand priorities and the reasons that parents and spouses go to work. This practice also instills a sense of accomplishment and purpose that benefits everyone.
5. Rely on Your Life Team
If you’ve worked with me personally or read my book, you know that I expect every leader to rely on their life team. These are your ride-or-die comrades—people you can count on to tell you the truth, hold you accountable and support you when things are tough. We all need support from people who understand our challenges and cheer on our successes. Many high achievers wait until things are desperate before asking for help. Don’t make that mistake. Lean on these relationships when you need strength and perspective.
Remember: "At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is NOT how the story is going to end.” -Christine Mason Miller
You deserve a life that feels fulfilling and accomplished without being over-stressed. The changes you make today will impact where you wind up. Take that first step today. Your story is worth it. -KM
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